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Showing posts from October, 2016

How to Survive Killer Spiders....According to Phoebe

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For a change of pace, I decided to show Phoebe the (in my mind) classic Arachnophobia. I couldn't believe she had never seen it before. Now, while writing this post, I realized the movie is from 1990. She wasn't born for another seventeen years. Shit. You. Not. Anyways...

...she got a kick out of the idea we were going to see a spider movie. I hadn't as yet made my peace with spiders. Which means she was used to me wailing for my husband to come and deal with them in the house, and running from them when I encountered them outside. She thought she was going to watch me cringe and squeal, which was the majority of the appeal. (Recently I have begun to appreciate spiders for their intricate colors and markings. Not to mention, their practicality. I was lamenting the size of the spiders in my basement to someone, and they told me, "You think they're ugly? Just think of the ugly things they're eating to get THAT big." For the most part, they now get either a p…

Dinosaurs...and Stupid People

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The day started out like any other. Dipper and Phoebe came over to visit. Phoebe grabbed up the blankets and pillows for the living room, and then set about playing with Zelda. I was hellbent on not having to watch another episode of that insipid show Walk the Prank, so I asked her, "Hey Phoe, wanna see stupid people get eaten by dinosaurs?"

Her eyes lit up like the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree. "YES!"

Thus began our adventure of watching 1993's Jurassic Park. As it turned out, she had seen the newest movie, Jurassic World. I shook my head. How can you see these movies out of order?

I had been planning on showing her Jurassic park, so I pulled out our themed snack. I had made chocolate-covered popcorn with dinosaur gummies. (Yeah, I know. I used to be a teacher.) They're based off this recipe for Shark Bait Popcorn. I played with the type of cake mix as well as the gummies. It came out great! The chocolate was sickening sweet! And so were the gummies. The…

NO REMORSE.

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Yep. That's right. I can say with a completely unrepentant heart that I showed my nine year old niece Tobe Hooper's The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Now, before you go and start a village mob, consider this...
...there is no nudity nor is there sex in the movie. (Honestly, the characters don't live long enough for either.)
...there is relatively little gore, and much is left to the imagination.
...there is no drug or alcohol use (Again, the characters don't really live long enough to partake.)
...I watched that movie when I was seven. Two years younger than her. And look how I turned out! (Well, maybe scratch that piece of evidence...)
Not to mention, I had discussed this choice with Dipper thoroughly.

When they arrived at my house that morning, I pulled out the DVD and showed her. I let her read the synopsis on the back, and asked her if she would like to see it. She was very excited, because as she explained, it wouldn't be before bedtime and wouldn't possibly give her…

What do you mean 'the alien killed the dogs' ?!

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Over the summer, I showed Phoebe one of my favorite movies of all time, John Carpenter's The Thing. I thought it would be a good one to show her because the effects, while still looking good, aren't as realistic as some of the more modern movies. I also thought she'd like the psychological guessing game - wondering who survived and who was an alien.

It surprised Dipper and I when it took me two tries to get through the movie with her. As it turns out, The Thing is a little too heavy on talking, and a little too light on the alien massacres. She wanted less discussion and more alien transformations. The second time through, I prepped her that once the proverbial ball got rolling, it was a bloodbath. That seemed to satisfy her. She picked out a craft, and we continued the movie.

Just like with Ridley Scott's Alien, Phoebe was all about the animals. In fact, the movie opens with a helicopter flying low over the snow, shooting at a beautiful husky. I would be doing her a gre…

Where's the kitty?!

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Subtitled, "Watching Alien With My Nine Year Old Cat-Obsessed Niece"...

I spent the summer watching my niece a few days a week, which was awesome. She's super smart, sweet, and very fun to hang around. But I have to say, you can only see so many Scooby Doo episodes before you begin to question your sanity. I brought up the idea to Dipper of starting to introduce her to more adult horror movies. He gave me the green light.

The first movie we watched was the 1979 classic, Ridley Scott's Alien. Dipper and I figured it would be good to start with. Interesting but not overly-verbose plot, strong female lead character, suitable horror with little gore, and the pièce de résistance...a cat. My niece will watch ANYTHING, so long as there is a cat involved.

Phoebe and I piled up the blankets and pillows in the living room, got my Boston Terrier a few toys so she'd stay with us, and snagged some snacks from the pantry. Capri Suns in hand, curtains drawn, we began the movie. Th…